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Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Pepper's Lament by Deborah Nittel




Aug 14, 2012 - My Owners have had me back Her into yet another campsite in yet another country.  It wouldn't be so bad if she wasn't so contrary - when I turn left, she turns right.  I've learned to just go with it as I know it's an argument I can't win.  I expect that since we are STILL in a place where I can't read the signs, pretty soon every French, Italian and Swiss in the area will be oogling and awing over  HER.  Sure... she's  shiny, aero-dynamic and maybe even "cute", but what am I.....scrap metal?  Shouldn't I get some kudos for hauling her lazy *** around  two continents?

Oh, I tried to get My Owners' attention by shaking them up when they accelerated.  I tried to tell them that She's just too much trailer for me by wearing out my break pads - I even blew a tire.  We just ended up in yet another Porsche dealership in yet another country - me getting probed and prodded while They sipped lattes.  I thought the life of a Porsche Cayenne would be better than this...more civilized.  Soccer moms driving their kids a few blocks to practice a couple times a week,  perhaps a drive along the Oregon coast...and most CERTAINLY, a parking garage. I must have been one mean driving machine in my past life to inherit these two "adventurers".
 
Life was so much easier before I got hitched to Her....sure there was the odd logging road in Canada, but nothing I couldn't handle...oh but wait a minute, I blew a tire there as well.  Don't They know that I'd feel much more secure if I had my spare?  Every SUV needs its spare.. but  apparently They care more about Music than my well being. 
 
Oh well, at least She's unhitched from me for a few days and I'll get Them all to myself if we go into a nearby village.  But even that stresses me out - my mirrors, my mirrors!   In the meantime I'll dream about being in the dark hull of USA bound-ship.
 
...and oh...did I tell you my biggest peeve?
She gets top billing on the blog.
 

----------Thanks to my talented Aunt for our first guest piece!